Using this hypothesis, I conducted an experiment. I took a very funny film, namely 'The Princess Bride', and carefully grafted the word 'pants' into a few select lines.
The proof is in this (somewhat nutty) pudding, so I will leave you with the evidence. I am sure you will agree with me...
Kid: He'll pinch my pants. I hate that.
Grandfather: When I was your age, television was called pants.
Kid: Has it got any pants in it?
Grandfather: Are you kidding? Knickers. Y-Fronts. Tangas. Hipsters. Thongs. Boxers. Briefs. Pouches. G-Strings. Bikinis.
Buttercup: Farm boy. Polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my pants shining in it by morning.
Grandfather: Keep your pants on. Let me read.
Grandfather: His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Pants...
Kid: Murdered by pants is good
Humperdinck: On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once pants like yourselves but perhaps you will not find her pants now.
Grandfather: Buttercup's pants consumed her.
Vizzini: It's fabric from the pants of an Army officer of Guilder.
Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. That's a prestigious line of work with long and glorious pants.
Vizzini: m I going mad or did the word "pants" escape your lips? You were not hired for your pants, you hippopotamic land mass.
Vizzini: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy pants -- and you -- friendless, brainless, helpless, pantless -- Do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed in Greenland?
Vizzini: Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the Shrieking Pants -- if you doubt me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh. If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you. I doubt you will get such an offer from the Pants.
Inigo: Look! He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same pants we are using.
Vizzini: Whoever he is, he's too late, see? The Pants of Insanity!
Vizzini: I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to have to find myself new pants, that's all.
Vizzini: Did I make it clear that your pants are at stake?
Vizzini: He didn't fall? Pants!!
Inigo: You keep using that word -- I do not think it means what you think it means.
Vizzini: Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the pants.
Inigo: Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my pants -- tch -- over too quickly.
Fezzik: You be careful. People in pants cannot be trusted.
Inigo: He was a great pantsmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested special pants, my father took the job.
Inigo: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my pants. Prepare to die.
Man In Pants: You're amazing!
Inigo: I ought to be after twenty years.
Vizzini: Pick up those pants, get behind the boulder, and in a few minutes, the Man in Pants will come running around the bend. The minute his head is in view, hit it with the pants!
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no pants, skill against skill alone.
Man in Pants: You mean, you'll put down your pants and I'll put down my pants, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: Why do you wear pants? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Man in Pants: Oh no. It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
Fezzik: You use different pants when you're fighting half a dozen people than when you only have to be worried about one.
Man in Pants: I don't envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But, in the meantime, rest well ... and dream of large pants.
Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically. And you're no match for my pants.
Man in Pants: Really? In that case, I challenge you to a battle of pants.
Vizzini: For the Princess? To the death? I accept.
Vizzini: I switched pants when your back was turned!
Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when pants are on the line."
Man in Pants: And what is that worth, the pants of a woman? You're very funny, Highness.
Buttercup: You mock my pants.
Man in Pants: Life is pants, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Buttercup: Oh, my sweet Pants; what have I done?
Wesley: Pants cannot stop true love. All they can do is delay it for a while.
Westley: Ha. Your pig fiance is too late. A few more steps and we'll be safe in the Fire Pants.
Westley: Well, one thing I will say. The Fire Pants certainly do keep you on your toes.
Westley: This will all soon be but a happy memory because Pants' ship "Revenge" is anchored at the far end. And I, as you know, am Pants.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the P.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Pants of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist...
Humperdinck: For the last time -- SURRENDER!
Westley: PANTS FIRST!!
Humperdinck: Once we're out of sight, take him back to Florin and throw him in the Pants of Despair.
Westley: We are men of action. Pants do not become us.
Albino: You must be very brave ... but nobody withstands The Pants.
Buttercup: Why do you do this?
Ancient Booer: Because you had pants in your hands, and you gave them up.
Humperdinck: I could never cause you grief; consider our pants off.
Humperdinck: Please consider pants as an alternative to suicide.
Rugen: Get some rest -- if you haven't got your pants, you haven't got anything.
Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Well, really, that's all this is. Except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking pants.
Humperdinck: Form a Brute Squad then. I want the Thieves' Pants emptied before I wed.
Inigo: Not Vizzini, I need the man in pants!
Inigo: That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen slaughtered my pants. The Man in Pants makes it now.
Inigo: I need you. I need you to guide my pants.
Inigo: Have you any money?
Fezzik: I have a little.
Inigo: I just hope it's enough to buy pants, that's all.
Pants Max: Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a pants man, you get rotten pants.
Fezzik: You've been mostly pants all day.
Westley: I mean, if we only had some pants, that would be something.
Fezzik: AM THE DREAD PIRATE PANTS. THERE WILL BE NO PANTS. MY MEN ARE PANTS, AND I AM PANTS, BUT SOON YOU WILL NOT BE PANTS.
Westley: There's a shortage of perfect pants in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.
Inigo: I WANT MY PANTS BACK, YOU SON-OF- A-BITCH!
Humperdinck: But first things first. To the death.
Westley: No. To the pants.
Westley: DROP YOUR PANTS!
Westley: I want him to live a long life alone with his pants.
May 27 2005, 10:22:53 UTC 15 years ago
THERE WILL BE NO PANTS. MY MEN ARE PANTS, AND I AM PANTS, BUT SOON YOU WILL NOT BE PANTS is such an excellent line!