Zorac (zorac) wrote,
Zorac
zorac

Valentine, Shmalentine

So, here we are in the final run up to the most depressing day of the year. I'm talking about this month's Hallmark Day, a.k.a. The One With All The Hearts And Flowers. This year I'll be sending just the one card (it being Dad's birthday on the 14th), and doubtless receiving none. Ah, well...

I'm really not sure what the point of Valentine's Day is - other than making money for card-makers, florists etc. If you're in a relationshp, then quite possibly you're going to have some stress about finding the right gift for him/her, organising a romantic evening or whatever. But if you're happy in your relationship, surely you don't need some officially sanctioned day to treat your partner as someone special. And a Big Romantic Gesture works just as well on any other day of the year - or maybe better, as it would be that much more unexpected. And with Valentine's day, there's always the problem if what you do doesn't measure up to your partner's expectations...

Oh, and for those of us languishing in singledom, it's at best irritating - big read hearts in every shop window, and no chance of getting a table for dinner. At worst it can bring on soul-destroying bouts of depression - the displays everywhere reminding you that you don't have someone, or of past happiness. It comes as no surprise that this day has an elevated suicide rate. (FYI, I'm somewhere betwixt these two extremes).

Last year there was someone I wanted to send a card to - just something to say "You have a Secret Admirer", noting more (that's all that my shyness(?) would permit me). Surely finding such a card should not be a difficult task... First there were all the "to my wife/girlfriend/dog" ones - not really appropriate to the situation. Next there were "I'm so desperately in love with you" ones - which would be rather overstating my case (and probably rather creepy for the recipient). Then I did find one with a fairly tolerable poem on the front - except that the final line inside the card was something like "... I want to get into your pants". Ah. I didn't even bother looking in the one that started "Roses are red, Violets are pluckable..."

In fairness, last year wasn't too bad. There was the small bit of excitement from sending the card (even if it never lead anywhere). In the evening, I busied myself in the kitchen making m00se and lasagne (a silly amount of effort just for one person, but that was, of course, the point). At 8 o'clock, I sat down with my food and, by the all-time most fortuitous piece of TV scheduling, watched Once More, With Feeling! (a.k.a. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Musical) for the first time. And just like that, all was right with the world.
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  • 21 comments

strangefrontier

February 12 2003, 10:56:39 UTC 18 years ago

I'll have you know I have never received a single Valentines card - so there's always someone worse off than you in a given situation!

The best friend and his girlfriend are pretty much anti-Valentines Day people - they see something of a sad desperation in doing something Big And Fluffy for the day, like it's to make up for ignoring one's significant other for the rest of the year. So, they're coming round to my house, and hopefully ScoobyDooFanFriend!Paul will be too, and we'll get roaring drunk and watch Lexx DVDs and play Dubious!Scrabble and Abusive!GameOfLife.

I'll laugh at my mum if she gets a card, cause it'll be from her crazy stalker ex-boyfriend, who doesn't seem to understand the concept of "ex" after about four years of ex-dom...

marysiak

February 13 2003, 02:59:07 UTC 18 years ago

Me either, which I normally complain vituperously about. But this year I am hiding from someone so if I get nothing I will just be glad I got nothing from them!

pinguthegreek

February 12 2003, 11:06:50 UTC 18 years ago

The last time I got one was in mylast year at Uni - far too long ago. I never found out who sent it and I haven't had one since. would be nice to have someone to cook dinner for...

Fishing

oddree

February 12 2003, 11:07:07 UTC 18 years ago

This sounds like very poorly disguised "fishing" for Valentine's cards if you ask me.
You'll end up getting 30, and they won't all fit through your letter box. And then you'll feel guilty for not sending any.

-oddree

Re: Fishing

zorac

February 12 2003, 13:36:48 UTC 18 years ago

Hmm. It wasn't intended as fishing - I'd rather have no cards than some that were sent because I went fishing and people felt sorry for me. Besides, hardly anyone on her knows my snail mail address ;-)

Re: Fishing

huskyteer

February 12 2003, 14:43:07 UTC 18 years ago

Hardly anyone on whom??

Re: Fishing

zorac

18 years ago

  • New comment

Re: Fishing

marysiak

February 13 2003, 03:00:19 UTC 18 years ago

Yah, pity Valentine's are worse than no Valentine's.

Mind you I got pity red roses one year and red roses are always good.

hermorrine

February 12 2003, 11:20:49 UTC 18 years ago

Oh ye of little faith...

addedentry

February 13 2003, 06:36:12 UTC 18 years ago

Mark, do remember to sign up for LiveJournal Valentines...

zorac

18 years ago

  • New comment

hermorrine

18 years ago

  • New comment

jiggery_pokery

18 years ago

  • New comment

jiggery_pokery

18 years ago

  • New comment

addedentry

February 13 2003, 06:34:07 UTC 18 years ago

All true, but also true of Christmas, New Year, birthdays and anniversaries. All of these can seem exclusive if you don't get an invite to a party, or have friends handily accessible for fun. If you are on the inside then you have to decide whether to accept the arbitrariness of the celebration - but it's no more arbitrary to award yourself a restaurant meal because you've been alive 27 years than it is to ring round your friends and invite them to accompany you to the pub because you like cider.

As missingdonut said to jiggery_pokery about not drinking: all these reasons are valid, but they might not be valid for all people.

(This isn't meant to sound chippy. It's an interesting question.)

zorac

February 13 2003, 07:08:30 UTC 18 years ago

For me, it *is* a different thing. Valentine's is about celebrating being with your partner - which is a bit difficult if you don't have one - wheras it's still New Year whether you're by yourself or at a party with all your best mates. That said, I have always had Christmas with family (bar two years with Jo), and New Years and my birthday are so close to that it counts as one prolonged celebration. I think a lot of my rant was directed at the in-your-face commercialisation, and that could certainly be applied to Christmas too. As you point out, different stokes for different folks.

addedentry

February 13 2003, 11:02:56 UTC 18 years ago

St Valentine's Day is only traditionally about celebrating being partnered (and let's not restrict it to one partner, because poly folk are quick to anger). I suspect that tomorrow being Friday the pubs and pizzerias will be heaving not just with Smug Marrieds but with gaggles of Bridget Jones friendship groups having a Good Time together. It's like Christmas - I'm the most aggressive atheist I know, but I only call it Winterval in self-mockery.

I love commercialisation, but I'm still coming to terms with my new identity as a capitalist whore.

huskyteer

18 years ago

  • New comment

jiggery_pokery

February 13 2003, 10:50:47 UTC 18 years ago

I wonder if it would be considered terribly, terribly poor taste if I sent my right hand a great big public Valentine's Day Card and encouraged other confirmed singletons to so do? (Or left hand as appropriate.)

This is your captain speaking. We are slowly descending to Tumlingtar Airport in Nepal. That's Tumlingtar, TMI.

anatsuno

February 18 2003, 17:39:38 UTC 18 years ago

This is your captain speaking. We are slowly descending to Tumlingtar Airport in Nepal. That's Tumlingtar, TMI.

Bwahahahah - loved it :p

And, well, it might be poor taste but it still would be funny *orders belated flowers for her vibrator, where her long distance BF only got a phonecall*
*docks her spaceship next to yours in Tumlingtar*

jiggery_pokery

February 13 2003, 10:55:34 UTC 18 years ago

Oh yes, the other annoying thing about Valentine's Day is that it will radically decrease the extent to which people rationally deal with suitably themed spam, junk mail and other malware. I can't remember whether the ILOVEYOU virus had any connection with February 14th (thinks: must ask my man in the field about this) but just think how many suckers it would have caught if it had done.

I say "Bah" and "Bollocks to it".

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