Well, it seems that somebody has declared today to be WiP amnesty day, so I though it might be fun to join in, so here's my initial complete draft of my epic unlikely-to-ever-be-finished fic. This was done pre-OotP, so there are certainly some things that need to change.
XXIV
“20:00 – 21:00”
A SHEET OF PARCHMENT
On which the following words magically appear as they
are spoken.
HERMIONE
The following takes place between
8pm and 9pm.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST - EVENING
The forest is so dense it looks like night in here. A
dark figure runs between the tightly packed trees,
fighting his way through the undergrowth. We follow him
for a few moments until he pauses to catch his breath.
Looking around he spies a dilapidated COTTAGE in a small
clearing fifty or so yards away. Pulling himself
together, he heads for it at a fast trot.
CUT TO:
INT. COTTAGE
It’s deserted now, but has clearly housed various
squatters in the past – a heap of dirty blankets in one
corner, assorted rubbish scattered about the floor. A
small pile of firewood lies next to a stone hearth
filled with cold ashes.
The door opens and AGENT JOHNSON (the man we were
following outside) cautiously enters. He's tall, dark
and might be handsome if we were seeing him at his best.
Right now he's clearly exhausted, with cuts and scrapes
from his flight through the forest - and there's fear in
his eyes. After a moment's hesitation he quickly throws
some wood into the fireplace and pulls out his wand to
light it.
JOHNSON
Incendio!
Taking a small pouch from within his robes, he pours a
little of powder from it, which he throws on the fire.
JOHNSON
(into the fire)
Auror headquarters.
After a moment, a face appears in the fire - clearly not
that of a person, it's merely a magical AVATAR.
AVATAR
Please identify yourself.
JOHNSON
Agent Johnson. Four One Seven Gamma
Zeta Niner.
AVATAR
Thank you, sir. How may I be of
assistance?
JOHNSON
I need to speak to Smith urgently. I
don’t have much time.
AVATAR
Just a moment.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST
More dark figures filter silently through the trees,
heading toward the cottage up ahead. They can see
flickers of light from the fire through cracks in the
roughly boarded-up windows. The figures form up opposite
the door.
ANGLE - A BOOTED FOOT
As it crushes a dry twig and we hear an audible CRACK.
INT. COTTAGE
We catch the end of
JOHNSON
...think they're trying to raise...
As Johnson's head jerks away from the (now human) face
in the fire, towards the door.
JOHNSON
Oh no...
He reaches for his wand as the door FLIES off it’s
hinges and SMASHES into him.
CUT TO:
EXT. ST. MUNGO’S - EVENING
Establishing, we see the sign “St. Mungo’s Hospital for
Magical Maladies and Injuries”.
NURSE (V.O.)
OK, Dr. Granger, you can go straight
through.
INT. ST. MUNGO’S – RECEPTION
A witch in her late twenties is replacing a quill in its
inkpot. She’s tall, with bushy brown hair and whilst not
exactly beautiful, certainly not unattractive. She wears
an Auror’s uniform. This is HERMIONE GRANGER.
HERMIONE
Thanks, I know the way.
She heads out of the reception area, but stops and turns
when she hears:
GINNY (O.S.)
Hey, wait up Hermione!
Enter VIRGINIA WEASLEY. She’s slightly shorter than
Hermione, with fiery red hair framing a pretty face. Her
robes are as flattering as they are fashionable.
HERMIONE
Hi, Ginny – you here to see him too?
It’s a rhetorical question. Ginny scrawls her name in
the visitor’s book, then she and Hermione head into the
hospital.
INT. ST. MUNGO’S – CORRIDOR
The two witches come through the doors at the far end
and head towards us.
HERMIONE
So, how are things at the gallery?
GINNY
Frantic. The new exhibition opened
on Saturday - that talented young
artist I was telling you about?
HERMIONE
(teasing)
Ah, yes, the one you described as a
"total studmuffin".
Ginny looks suitably embarrassed at this.
HERMIONE (CONT'D)
Don't worry, I won't tell Richard
you said that.
GINNY
(briskly)
Anyway, we’ve already sold most of
the pieces already so I've been
worked off my feet dealing with all
the scrollwork and arranging
deliveries. I’ll be happy that we’ve
all got the day off tomorrow.
(off Hermione’s hurt look)
Not happy. I mean...
(quickly changing subject)
What about your work, how's the
never-ending fight against evil?
HERMIONE
Quiet.
(beat)
Too quiet. I’d expect the Death
Eaters to try something tomorrow –
it is the tenth anniversary after
all, the ideal time for some big
revenge stunt.
GINNY
Maybe they're just not up to it any
more. There can't be many of them
left.
HERMIONE
No, I don't think so. There have
been enough little incidents over
the last year that we know they’re
still out there, but in the last
month or two, nothing.
(worried)
I’m sure they’re planning something,
I just wish we knew what.
They stop at a door, hesitating for a moment. Ginny
opens the door and they enter.
INT. ST. MUNGO’S – PADDED CELL
It’s pretty bare, containing only a bed. Walls, floor
and ceiling have physical padding in addition to
cushioning charms. The tell-tale sparkle of a magical
barrier separates the body of the cell from the visiting
area where the witches now stand. The tortured soul
within is curled up in the corner, in obvious pain. He’s
about the same age – at least physically – as Hermione
and red haired. When he turns towards we can see without
doubt that he’s related to Ginny. It’s RONALD WEASLEY.
GINNY
(uncertainly)
He looks a little better.
But Ron is now clutching his head. Thankfully, the
barrier blocks the sound of his screams.
GINNY (CONT'D)
(sadly)
Or not.
Hermione puts an arm around her.
HERMIONE
Ginny, it’s been more than ten
years, and the Longbottoms...
GINNY
(interrupting)
I know. I just hate seeing him like
this. If only there was something I
could do for him.
HERMIONE
We tried, you know I spent years...
(beat)
He’s too far gone. There’s no way to
reach what’s left of his mind.
A silent moment.
GINNY
(small voice)
I sometimes find myself wishing that
we could just let him die.
Hermione’s look speaks volumes – clearly she’s thought
the same thing.
GINNY (CONT’D)
At least then he’d be spared this.
Another silent scream.
HERMIONE
I know.
(then)
I’m not sure which visits are
harder. Ron – I can still see him,
but in such pain. Whereas Harry...
(beat)
it’s just a gravestone. I can't see
him, be with him; but at least I
know he’s at peace.
Ginny really has no reply to that, so they stand in
silence until interrupted by a small knock at the door.
It opens, revealing a young HOUSE ELF, proudly wearing a
S.P.E.W. badge. She's clearly nervous to be talking to
the great Hermione Granger.
HOUSE ELF
Excuse me, Miss Granger, but there's
an urgent message for you in
reception. From someone called
Smith.
HERMIONE
Thanks.
She’s already gone. The elf follows, gently closing the
door behind her, leaving Ginny alone with the empty
shell that was once her brother.
CUT TO:
INT. ST MUNGO’S – RECEPTION
As Hermione bursts in.
HERMIONE
A message?
NURSE
(inclining her head)
The fireplace.
HERMIONE
Thanks.
She hurries in the direction indicated. A head is
clearly visible in the fire - the head of JOHN SMITH
(the same face seen briefly in the fire at the end of
the scene in the cottage). He looks middle aged and
conspicuously normal, nothing stands out about his
appearance - it's instantly (and deliberately)
forgettable. He starts speaking the moment Hermione
arrives at the hearth.
SMITH
Granger. We need you back here at
once. Assemble your team, we have a
serious situation.
HERMIONE
What's going on, sir?
SMITH
We got a call in from Johnson a few
minutes ago.
HERMIONE
Undercover?
SMITH
Correct. He seems to have discovered
something about a Death Eater plot
for tomorrow.
HERMIONE
I was afraid of that.
SMITH
Unfortunately, he was interrupted
before he could give us all the
details.
HERMIONE
(concerned)
Interrupted?
SMITH
(gently)
We have to assume that he’s dead.
HERMIONE
(emotionless)
I see.
(then)
I’ll be there as soon as possible.
Smith's head disappears from the fire as Hermione turns
to leave, Disapparating the moment she's through the
hospital doors.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOGWARTS - CLOSE TO SUNSET
Establishing shot of the castle.
INT. HOGWARTS - DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE sits behind his desk, looking much as
he did when the trio first came to Hogwarts seventeen
years earlier. Hair and beard both long and silvery-
white, face wrinkled but kindly and wearing fine,
colourful robes. A knock at the door causes him to look
up.
DUMBLEDORE
Come in.
The door opens and MINERVA MCGONAGALL enters the
headmaster's office. Unlike Dumbledore, she does look a
little older - grey streaks in her black hair for
example. While she still carries her perpetual stern
expression, it does appear to have mellowed a little
with age.
MCGONAGALL
Good evening, Albus.
DUMBLEDORE
Ah, Minerva. How go the preparations
for tomorrow?
MCGONAGALL
As well as can be expected. I
presume you've finished writing your
speech?
Dumbledore gestures at the parchment he was writing on
before McGonagall came in.
DUMBLEDORE
I'm just putting the finishing
touches on it now. A fine piece of
work, even if I do say so myself.
MCGONAGALL
And what about the rumours we've
heard - that there may be Death
Eaters here at Hogwarts? I for one
find it hard to believe that any of
our students cold do that. Not
after...
DUMBLEDORE
Indeed. And as you well know,
Voldemort's erstwhile successor is
hardly the outstanding student that
the young Tom Riddle was. I really
can't see him as the sort of "Dark
Lord" that could pull together such
a plan.
MCGONAGALL
(wry smile)
Of course. Until tomorrow, then.
DUMBLEDORE
Goodnight.
His head is already back down to the parchment as she
departs.
CUT TO:
INT. AUROR HQ - MAIN OFFICE
A large high-ceilinged space which appears to have been
hewn out of the living rock, its floor unnaturally
smooth. Much of the space is taken up by a jumble of
desks separated by shoulder-height partitions. One side
of the room is not a rough rock-face, but a stone wall
with a number of doors in it. The entrance area where
Hermione now Apparates does appear (judging by the
stalagmites and stalactites) to be a natural cave.
Only a handful of desks are occupied at the moment, at
one of these sits BENJAMIN KIRBY. He looks slightly
younger than Hermione and is tall and lanky with pale
skin and untidy brown hair. He sports glasses and is
wearing jeans and a Star Wars T-shirt. Your
stereotypical geek/nerd. His desks support a large
collection of gadgets in various states of repair, some
of them Muggle (including a computer complete with
obvious Apple logo), others clearly magical. He spots
Hermione and calls out to her.
BEN
Hey, boss! Any idea what's going on?
Hermione heads over toward his desk, dressed as before,
but she's picked up a lunchbox somewhere along the line.
HERMIONE
Not really, Smith just said the
Death Eaters are plotting something
for tomorrow. He should be briefing
us in a few minutes.
BEN
Well, it better be important. I had
to skip out of watching Episode VII
to come back here.
HERMIONE
I though you went to see that last
week.
BEN
(rumbled)
Yeah, well. It's one of those movies
you have to see twice.
(off her look)
OK, one of those movies I have to
see twice.
HERMIONE
Are you sure you wouldn't have
rather stayed in the Muggle world?
BEN
Nah. Having magic allows me to
really develop my Jedi powers.
Banishing and summoning charms for
example. And who wouldn't want to be
able to do the Jedi Mind Trick?
HERMIONE
Do you want the full list, 'cause
that might take a while.
BEN
(Jedi mind trick)
You want to take me out to dinner.
HERMIONE
I don't think so, but I'd love to
know who gave you a clean bill of
mental health.
BEN
OK, it's just a wandless Confundus
Charm, not strong enough to affect a
Witch or Wizard, but it works fine
on Muggles, provided they're not too
smart.
HERMIONE
(sternly)
Hypothetically, of course?
BEN
(er... no)
Er... yes.
HERMIONE
Hmmm. I'll talk to you later.
She heads across toward her office (one of the
aforementioned doors). At the desk nearest to it sits
NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, round of face and perhaps a little
podgy. He's wearing plain robes - NOT an Auror's
uniform.
HERMIONE
Evening, Neville. Have you managed
to get hold of everyone?
NEVILLE
(nods)
They're all on there way in now -
except for the ones who already
here. Oh, and Smith called; he
should be down in a few minutes.
HERMIONE
Thanks, Neville.
(pauses)
I was visiting Ron when I got the
call. You know what that's like
better than anyone - does it ever
get any easier?
NEVILLE
No.
(shrewdly)
Would you really want it to?
HERMIONE
I guess not.
(a beat)
Let me know when the chief gets
here.
NEVILLE
Will do.
HERMIONE
(re: lunchbox)
I need to have a bite to eat.
She heads into her office.
CUT TO:
INT. MINISTRY OF MAGIC - OUTER OFFICE
An elegant, oak-panelled room with a selection of fine
paintings and objets d'art - clearly no expense has been
spared on the Minister's offices. The door leading to
the inner office has a brass plaque that reads "JULIUS
GOLDSTEIN - MINISTER OF MAGIC". Next to the door is the
desk of his executive secretary, MEGAN HOPKINS. In her
late twenties, she's a stunner - long blonde hair, a
pretty face with big blue eyes and an hourglass figure
that some people would kill for.
The door opens to reveal JULIUS GOLDSTEIN. He appears to
be in late middle age - perhaps a little older, but he's
still a fine figure of a man, carrying himself with a
proud bearing. Meg looks up as he enters.
GOLDSTEIN
Any sign of Weasley yet?
MEG
Not yet. Would you like me to call
him, Sir?
But that proves to be unnecessary, as PERCY WEASLEY
hurries into the office. Like the rest of his family, he
has bright red hair. To this, he adds a rather snooty
and superior expression. He wears smart, pinstriped
robes.
GOLDSTEIN
(jovially)
You're almost late, Mr. Weasley.
PERCY
Sorry about that, Minister. I had a
lot of things to finish off.
GOLDSTEIN
That's alright, Weasley. At least
you're not wasting your time by
turning up half an hour early as
some people have been known to do.
PERCY
Thankyou, Sir.
GOLDSTEIN
Come on into my office, there are a
number of things I'd like to discuss
with you.
(to Meg)
We're not to be disturbed.
MEG
Yes, Minister.
The two men go into the inner office, and as the door
shuts, we
CUT TO:
INT. AUROR HQ - MAIN OFFICE
As Smith Apparates. Like his face, the rest of him is
conspicuously inconspicuous - he's average height and
medium build, his hair a mid-brown. He's wearing plain
black robes rather than an Auror uniform.
ANGLE - NEVILLE
Who has seen Smith arrive and goes to knock on
Hermione's door. She opens it just as Smith comes over
to them.
SMITH
Evening Neville, everyone here?
NEVILLE
Yes, Sir.
He goes back to his desk.
SMITH
(quietly, to Hermione)
There's something I'll need to
discuss with you in private. Could
you wait for me in your office after
the briefing?
HERMIONE
Certainly, Sir.
SMITH
Thankyou.
He heads to the front of the room as the rest of the
Aurors gather round.
SMITH
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sorry to drag you in from your
hectic social lives - those of you
that have one, but it seems we have
a situation. About half an hour ago,
I received a call through the
fireplace from one of our undercover
agents with information about what
the Death Eaters are planning for
tomorrow. Unfortunately, he wasn't
able to tell me much more. After
explaining that it's planned to
start with the assassination of the
Minister of Magic, he was apparently
interrupted and the spell was ended
abruptly.
He pauses to survey his troops.
SMITH (CONT'D)
I know there's not much to go on,
but it's a start. We need to trace
back to the fireplace Agent Johnson
called from, search the area for any
clues and find out why he didn't
Apparate or call in in the usual
way. We need to liase with the
Wizarding Protection Service to
ensure that the Minister has
adequate protection for tomorrow.
And most of all, we need to be alert
for signs of what the Death Eaters
are up to - they've been quiet for
the last couple of months, but if
they have big plans for tomorrow
they won't be able to stay under
wraps for much longer.
(beat)
Alright people, let's get to it.
I'll be round with specific
assignments momentarily.
The meeting breaks up as the Aurors head back to their
desks, eager to get to work.
CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENT BLOCK - LOBBY
It's clearly a wizarding building - the pictures on the
oak-panelled walls are moving (waves rolling onto the
beach, cows munching away in the fields etc). More
tellingly, the concierge - call him TIBBS - snoozing
behind a counter in the corner is a GHOST. Obviously an
old man when he died, he has a kindly face and his
outfit and demeanour cry "Butler". He wakes up as Ginny
Apparates.
TIBBS
Good evening, Miss Weasley.
GINNY
Evening, Tibbs. Any messages for me?
TIBBS
Just the one, Miss, from your young
gentleman.
She walks over to the rack of pigeon (OK, owl) holes
next to the counter, smiles at him.
GINNY
(teasing)
Have you been reading my post again?
TIBBS
Now how would I be doing that, Miss?
No, I recognised his owl.
Ginny retrieves a small scroll of parchment from her
pigeon hole and scans it briefly. It's good news.
GINNY
(somewhat distracted)
G'night Tibbs.
She heads up the narrow wooden staircase.
TIBBS
Goodnight, Miss.
He's already dozing off again.
INT. APARTMENT BLOCK - CORRIDOR
Ginny comes up the stairs, fumbling with her keys, and
stops at her door, which has a small keyhole, but no
handle. Finding the right key, she sticks it into the
lock and turns it left, right, and left again. The wood
just above the lock bulges outwards and forms itself
into a doorknob. Ginny turns the knob, pushing the door
open to enter
INT. GINNY'S APARTMENT - LOUNGE
Which has a modern yet comfortable feel to it. A stylish
leather sofa sits by the fireplace, designer shelves
hold a selection of magical volumes, and a draftsman's
desk in the corner has a few half-finished drawings
lying on it. Ginny hands her coat to an elegant wooden
hatstand and dumps her keys on a small table next to it.
Remembering something, she tabs a bracelet on her right
hand twice. It begins to glow and she speaks into it:
GINNY
Hermione Granger
As she relaxes on the sofa, she extends the thumb and
little finger of her right hand and holds them to her
face like a telephone (come on, you've all done it!)
SPLIT SCREEN: INT. AUROR HQ - HERMIONE'S OFFICE
Hermione is sitting at her desk, looking through some
scrolls. She hears a ringing sound, like a really old
telephone, and looks down at her bracelet, identical to
the one Ginny was wearing. It too is now glowing. She
glances at the palm of her hand, which has now has some
glowing letters on it, then holds the hand to her face
in the same way that Ginny did.
HERMIONE
Hi, Ginny.
GINNY
Hi. Just wanted to check up on you.
You left in rather a hurry.
HERMIONE
Sorry, it was the boss. Seems I was
right about the Death Eaters -
they're definitely up to something.
Steve Johnson called in, but it
looks like they got him before he
could give us the details.
GINNY
Steve? Angelina's cousin? Didn't you
two use to...
HERMIONE
Yeah.
GINNY
I'm sorry.
HERMIONE
That's OK. It was a few years ago
and we didn’t exactly part on the
best of terms.
GINNY
Even so...
HERMIONE
(briskly)
Anyway, it looks like I'm going to
be here all night trying to track
down a plot to assassinate the
Minister, or whatever else they're
up to. Look, I really need to get to
work on this.
GINNY
Sure. I'll talk to you in a day or
two. Goodnight.
HERMIONE
'night Ginny.
The two women lower their hands, bracelets no longer
glowing.
SINGLE SCREEN: INT. AUROR HQ - MAIN OFFICE
Hermione pops her head out of her office doorway and
calls across to
HERMIONE
Ben!
BEN (O.S.)
Yes, boss?
HERMIONE
(re: bracelet)
Could you get me a Muggle telephone
line? I need to make a call.
BEN
Sure, it'll just take a moment.
(a couple of moments)
OK, it's all yours.
HERMIONE
Thanks.
INT. AUROR HQ - HERMIONE'S OFFICE
She closes the door. Her bracelet is glowing, she speaks
into it.
HERMIONE
Muggle telephone. Mum and Dad.
She puts her had to her face as before.
SPLIT SCREEN: INT. GRANGER HOUSE - HALLWAY
A typical Muggle home. An unmoving picture of Hermione
sits in a silver frame next to the telephone, which
begins to ring. A woman, late fifties, comes to answer
it. She too has bushy brown hair and is obviously
Hermione's mother, EMILY GRANGER.
EMILY
Hello.
HERMIONE
Hi mum, it's me.
EMILY
Oh, hello dear. How are you?
HERMIONE
I'm okay, but I don't think I'm
going to be able to make it
tomorrow. Something really bad has
come up at work and I'm going to be
tied up with that for at least the
next day or so. I'm really sorry.
EMILY
That's all right, dear. We know that
you're doing important work. You can
some and visit some other time.
HERMIONE
Thanks mum. I'll try and call you
tomorrow.
We hear a smashing sound. Emily looks round.
EMILY
Ted?
(into telephone)
It sounds like your father has had a
little accident. I ought to go check
on him.
HERMIONE
OK. Love to you both.
EMILY
'Bye.
FULL SCREEN: INT. GRANGER HOUSE - HALLWAY
Emily puts the 'phone down and calls for her husband
again.
EMILY
Ted? Are you alright?
She heads down the hallway, a little worried now. She
opens the door at the end of the passage and steps
through, looking to the left.
EMILY
Ted?
Someone GRABS her from behind, clamping a gloved hand
over her mouth, and DRAGS her out of shot!
CUT TO:
THE FACE OF A GRANDFATHER CLOCK
The times are shown in roman numerals, and we can hear
quite clearly - loudly - the sound of its mechanism. The
second hand is counting the final seconds of the hour -
8:59:57 (tick) 58 (tock) 59 (tick) 9:00:00 (tock).
BLACK OUT
END OF SHOW
Phew! That's almost the first time I've shown this material to anyone (
jiggery_pokery saw a few scenes a couple of years back). I have another 5 episodes or so's worth of material written, albeit spread over the entire rest of the timeline (yes, I've written the final scene). Whether it will progress any further - who knows? 
February 6 2004, 15:26:49 UTC 17 years ago
BTW, your choice of icon is obvious proof of telepathy given my choice of movie this evening ;-)
Re:
February 6 2004, 16:12:42 UTC 17 years ago
Yesssssssh.... I am tuned into your mind right now.... *looks shocked* Wow, boys really do think about sex all the time, don't they? I suppose we can try that next weekend... ;)